Lexxie and the Pirates and Deviant-Boy
As Told by Lexxie Couper
(A Completely Fabricated Tale About A Meeting of Destiny)
Warning - Contains Content That May Offend Some People
PART ONE
I can never resist a challenge. EVER. So when my cousin, a man of dubious intelligence (OK, let's be blunt, we are after all, all friends here – the man is a complete and utter moron. Wouldn't know his dick from a banana if his dick wasn't pink and attached to his body) tells me I couldn't hack two days in the tropics I told him to stick it up his ass. I'm not much of a humidity fan I must admit; I like getting hot and sweaty in more enjoyable ways, but at that accusation from that man I promptly packed an overnight bag and chartered myself a flight to Far North Queensland. It don't get any hotter and sweatier than up the top end of Oz, (unless it's between my sheets!) and I was on my way.
Who knew the flight would crash off the coast of Tropical Queensland? Who knew the pilot in whose hands I'd placed my life was a raving nutter? Who knew he had an enormous cock? Well, OK, I knew that last bit, you couldn't miss the massive bulge straining against his skin-tight Levis, but I didn't know he had a penchant for pulling it out and flopping it about in mid-flight! Honest!!
Anyway, here I am, 20,000 feet above the Pacific with this guy and his enormous cock. My overnight bag contains a can of aerosol deodorant (Exotic Musk), my favourite lip-gloss (Vanilla-Cherry), a nail file (I can't abide chipped nails), a packet of double-choc Tim-Tams (for sustenance) and a Glock 9mm (for emergencies). It did not contain a ten-foot pole and that's about the only thing of mine that was going near this guy's cock. Do you think he'd listen to reason, though? Of course not! He's a man after all. A man with a hard-on does not listen to reason. A man with a hard-on does not listen to "I'm going to kill you if you don't put that thing away", at least NOT this man. It may have had something to do with the amount of blood required to fill his cock. Too much had drained from his deluded brain for him to understand my subtle rejection. So it was time to stop being subtle and start being direct.
I pulled my Glock, he pulled his cock and before I knew it we were headed straight for the water. Fast. In a tailspin.
This was not how I'd planned my day.
Lexxie ©
As Told by Lexxie Couper
(A Completely Fabricated Tale About A Meeting of Destiny)
Warning - Contains Content That May Offend Some People
PART ONE
I can never resist a challenge. EVER. So when my cousin, a man of dubious intelligence (OK, let's be blunt, we are after all, all friends here – the man is a complete and utter moron. Wouldn't know his dick from a banana if his dick wasn't pink and attached to his body) tells me I couldn't hack two days in the tropics I told him to stick it up his ass. I'm not much of a humidity fan I must admit; I like getting hot and sweaty in more enjoyable ways, but at that accusation from that man I promptly packed an overnight bag and chartered myself a flight to Far North Queensland. It don't get any hotter and sweatier than up the top end of Oz, (unless it's between my sheets!) and I was on my way.
Who knew the flight would crash off the coast of Tropical Queensland? Who knew the pilot in whose hands I'd placed my life was a raving nutter? Who knew he had an enormous cock? Well, OK, I knew that last bit, you couldn't miss the massive bulge straining against his skin-tight Levis, but I didn't know he had a penchant for pulling it out and flopping it about in mid-flight! Honest!!
Anyway, here I am, 20,000 feet above the Pacific with this guy and his enormous cock. My overnight bag contains a can of aerosol deodorant (Exotic Musk), my favourite lip-gloss (Vanilla-Cherry), a nail file (I can't abide chipped nails), a packet of double-choc Tim-Tams (for sustenance) and a Glock 9mm (for emergencies). It did not contain a ten-foot pole and that's about the only thing of mine that was going near this guy's cock. Do you think he'd listen to reason, though? Of course not! He's a man after all. A man with a hard-on does not listen to reason. A man with a hard-on does not listen to "I'm going to kill you if you don't put that thing away", at least NOT this man. It may have had something to do with the amount of blood required to fill his cock. Too much had drained from his deluded brain for him to understand my subtle rejection. So it was time to stop being subtle and start being direct.
I pulled my Glock, he pulled his cock and before I knew it we were headed straight for the water. Fast. In a tailspin.
This was not how I'd planned my day.
Lexxie ©
posted by Lexxie Couper at 11:11 pm
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